Opinion: Leaked transcript of private two-hour conversation between Putin and Trump in Helsinki

We have received through a chain of secret channels a “transcript” of the secret conversations  between Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin which took place at the beginning of their summit meeting on July 16, 2018 in Helsinki, Finland.  The “transcript” is actually a description of what took place during those two hours in which only the principals and two translators were present.  The document which follows was compiled by Israeli and Finnish intelligence sources, as augmented by intercepts and additional information from other intelligence agencies.  Because of the sensitive nature of the subject matter, not all information could be confirmed.  What follows, therefore, should be viewed as a raw intelligence product.

Israel enlisted Finnish intelligence officials to assist in placing cameras and audio recording equipment in the room in which the meeting between Putin and Trump took place.  The equipment was installed only after the room had been swept for bugs and the meeting had begun.

Trump and Putin are seen in the video as sitting in two chairs.  Shortly after the meeting begins, Putin asks Trump if he would like a neck and shoulder massage, so the meeting can be conducted in a more relaxed manner.  Putin moves to stand behind Trump and starts to massage his neck and shoulders.  Then, at Putin’s suggestion, both men remove their shirts.  Trump says softly that this is the first time he has been touched like that in a very long time, as things with Melania have been somewhat strained because of the Stormy Daniels affair.

Putin moves into deep massage, and also offers Trump something to drink.  Trump falls asleep.  Then, from the sidelines a hospital bed and certain medical equipment are wheeled into the room, and Trump is put on the hospital bed. Men dressed as doctors appear near the bed.

Putin explains to the doctors that the microchip they had implanted in Trump’s brain at the Ritz Carlton Hotel in Moscow in 2013 (at the Miss Universe pageant), when Trump fell asleep after the “Golden Showers” show on the bed Barack Obama had slept on, had begun to malfunction.  In particular, despite several software updates that had been downloaded to the chip when Putin gave Trump brief head massages on the sidelines of various multilateral summit meetings, the “Crimea” and “sanctions” components of the chip had failed to operate properly.  To be sure, the “North Korean military games” component had worked flawlessly in Singapore, where Trump canceled the annual joint South Korean and American military exercises.  Still, the most important components –“Crimea” and “sanctions”– appeared to not be working properly, because they had not produced the desired effects.

Because the five-year-old microchip had also showed other signs of decay, leading to some erratic  behavior by Trump, Putin and his team had decided to replace the chip with a new and more advanced version, whose software could be updated though the use of imperceptible sonic waves, obviating the necessity of Putin giving Trump quick head massages on the sidelines of multilateral summit meetings.

The chip was installed, quickly, and Trump’s head was sewn up so expertly with the assistance of modern medical technology that there was no scar and not even a trace of an incision.

Following the operation, the hospital bed and medical equipment were quickly removed from the room, along with the doctors.  Trump was then brought back to consciousness.  At that point Putin directed flashing lights into Trump’s eyes, explaining that the lights would help Trump with his troubled sleep pattern in the early hours of the morning.  Trump had been given medicine that made him feel very good, and he thanked Putin for the neck and shoulder massage. Both men put their shirts back on.

The interpreters were then summoned back into the room, following an extended break for morning tea and coffee, made possible they were told by Putin’s desire to conduct a conversation directly with Trump in English, which after years of study he had recently become proficient in.

The two leaders proceeded to tick off the items on their lists, though Trump was prompted not to change his responses on the Crimea or sanctions issues until he received further instructions.

Smiling broadly, both men left the room to meet their entourages and to continue the larger group discussions planned for the rest of the day.

The actual film and audio of the secret two-hour meeting have not become available.  Their actual content came as a shock to Israeli intelligence and political leaders.  The latter, however, expressed their deep appreciation to the intelligence services, which had at least made it possible for them to understand what they were dealing with.

The Trenchant Observer

About the Author

The Observer
"The Trenchant Observer" is edited and published by The Observer, an international lawyer who has taught International Law, Human Rights, and Comparative Law at major U.S. universities, including Harvard, Brandeis, the University of Pittsburgh, and the University of Kansas. He is a former staff attorney at the Inter-American Commission on Human Rights of the Organization of American States (IACHR), where he was in charge of Brazil, Haiti, Mexico and the United States, and also worked on complaints from and reports on other countries including Argentina, Chile, Uruguay, El Salvador, Nicaragua, and Guatemala. As an international development expert, he has worked on Rule of Law, Human Rights, and Judicial Reform in a number of countries in Latin America, the Caribbean, Africa, the Middle East, South Asia, and the Russian Federation. In the private sector, The Observer has worked as an international attorney for a leading national law firm and major global companies, on joint ventures and other matters in a number of countries in Europe (including Russia and the Ukraine), throughout Latin America and the Caribbean, and in Australia, Indonesia, Vietnam, China and Japan. The Trenchant Observer blog provides an unfiltered international perspective for news and opinion on current events, in their historical context, drawing on a daily review of leading German, French, Spanish and English newspapers as well as the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Washington Post, and other American newspapers, and on sources in other countries relevant to issues being analyzed. The Observer speaks fluent English, French, German, Portuguese and Spanish, and also knows other languages. He holds an S.J.D. or Doctor of Juridical Science in International Law from Harvard University, and a Doctor of Law (J.D.) and a Master of the Science of Law (J.S.M.), from Stanford University. As an undergraduate, he received a Bachelor of Arts degree, also from Stanford, where he graduated “With Great Distinction” (summa cum laude) and received the James Birdsall Weter Prize for the best Senior Honors Thesis in History. In addition to having taught as a Lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School, The Observer has been a Visiting Scholar at Harvard University's Center for International Affairs (CFIA). His fellowships include a Stanford Postdoctoral Fellowship in Law and Development, the Rómulo Gallegos Fellowship in International Human Rights awarded by the Inter-American Commission on Human Rights, and a Harvard MacArthur Fellowship in International Peace and Security. Beyond his articles in The Trenchant Observer, he is the author of two books and numerous scholarly articles on subjects of international and comparative law. Currently he is working on a manuscript drawing on the best articles that have appeared in the blog.

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