April 1, 2019
In a stunning development, President Donald J. Trump resigned today.
While accounts varied, White House sources, speaking on background because they were not authorized to talk about such a sensitive matter, said the President had resigned because since he took office his golf handicap had gone up more than 10 points. Sources said the stress of the Mueller investigation and “the Russia collusion hoax” had affected the President’s golf game, and in recent days he had shot over 90 on several occasions. Trump reportedly felt deep embarrassment, if not shame, particularly among his friends at the Mar-a-Lago Club in Palm Beach, Florida, where he greatly enjoys spending weekends and golfing in a relaxed atmosphere among friends.
According to some accounts, the Mueller Report and its apparent exoneration of Trump on the collusion charge had not led to an improvement in Trump’s golf game. He is seemingly still worried about the New York Attorney General’s investigations into his business affairs, and the details contained in the Mueller Report about his alleged obstruction of justice.
According to yet another source familiar with the President’s thinking, Trump reached the decision to resign while playing a video game designed by unofficial chief strategist Steve Bannon. Bannon had developed a highly complex algorithm taking into account a wide variety of political variables which assessed how well the Trump administration was doing in dismantling the administrative state, and also predicted the odds, on a daily basis, of Trump being re-elected in 2020 and the Republicans retaking the House of Representatives and maintaining control of the Senate. According to this well-placed source, Bannon’s algorithm translated these complex variables into video images which communicated the essence of the findings to the President in the kind of visual format he prefers.
Early Monday morning, according to this source, when the President was playing Bannon’s video game, he saw the video image of himself, dressed in football gear, punting a football far down the field.
Upon seeing this video, according to the source, Trump immediately tweeted that he was resigning.
In a news briefing held later in the day, White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders rejected the account that the President had decided to resign when he saw Bannon’s video of him punting. However, she did not dispute the account that the President had resigned because of his golf handicap.
The Trenchant Observer