Ukraine War, June 10, 2022: SATIRE–Zelensky: “Where are the long-range artillery weapons? We need them NOW in the Donbas.” Biden: “We have a ‘Tiger Team’ working on that. What room are they in? Or are they working in the Arlington office?”; Germany may not deliver weapons, but at least they have droll humor

Excerpt from a conversation between President Joe Biden and a White House aide, June 10, 2022

White House aide:  “I’m sorry to report, Mr. President, we have a problem. We didn’t want to give the Ukrainians the long-range MLRS artillery, because they could have attacked targets in Russia with them.”

President Biden:  “Yeah, yeah, I know. They have a range of 300 kilometers or 180 miles.  But I thought we fixed that problem, by getting them to agree not to use them against Russia. We also made sure (smiling broadly) by only giving them artillery shells with a range of 80 kilometers.”

White House aide:  “Right, Sir.  That was the brilliant solution the ‘Tiger Team’ working on ‘heavy weapons delivery and World War III’ came up with.”

President Biden:  “Then what’s the problem?”

White House aide:  “Zelensky is going ballistic because the weapons can’t be used effectively in the battle for the Dunbas, which Ukraine is losing–because they don’t have the MLRS artillery yet.”

President Biden:  “Why don’t they have the artillery?”

White House aide:  “Well, Sir, there was a mistake. They sent the artillery for delivery to Ukraine, but with the wrong artillery shells–limited to a 40 km. range instead of an 80 km. range. When the artillery arrived in Poland, our military officials decided to delay the delivery to Ukraine until the 40 km. shells could be replaced with 80 km. shells.”

President Biden:  “(expletives deleted).  Where are the God-damned artillery pieces now?”

“White House aide:  “They’re in Poland, Sir, waiting for the 80 km. shells.”

President Biden:  “I thought the ‘Tiger Team’ working on ‘heavy weapons delivery and World War III’ had worked out the details, taking care not to provoke Putin.”

White House aide:  “In the military, Sir, mistakes happen.”

President Biden:  “Where is that damned Tiger Team?  What room are they in? Or are they working in the Arlington office?”

White House aide:  “I don’t know, Sir. There are so many Tiger Teams.”

President Biden:  “Well, find out, and get them in my office immediately!  Have they located the 80 km. shells? 

Tell Zelensky we’re working on it.”

Germany sends “bureaucracy special representative” for streamlining bureaucracy to Ukraine


1) Henryk M. Broder, “Schwere Waffen? Wir schicken lieber einen Bürokratie-Sonderbeauftragten, Die Welt, den 10. Juni 2022 (17:29 Uhr);

2) Henryk M. Broder, “Heavy weapons? We’d rather send a bureaucracy special representative,” Die Welt, June 10, 2022 (5:29 p.m.), English translation on website.

About the Author

James Rowles
"The Trenchant Observer" is edited and published by James Rowles (aka "The Observer"), an author and international lawyer who has taught International Law, Human Rights, and Comparative Law at major U.S. universities, including Harvard, Brandeis, the University of Pittsburgh, and the University of Kansas. Dr. Rowles is a former staff attorney at the Inter-American Commission on Human Rights (IACHR) of the Organization of American States OAS), in Wasington, D.C., , where he was in charge of Brazil, Haiti, Mexico and the United States, and also worked on complaints from and reports on other countries including Argentina, Chile, Uruguay, El Salvador, Nicaragua, and Guatemala. As an international development expert, he has worked on Rule of Law, Human Rights, and Judicial Reform in a number of countries in Latin America, the Caribbean, Africa, the Middle East, South Asia, and the Russian Federation. In the private sector, Dr. Rowles has worked as an international attorney for a leading national law firm and major global companies, on joint ventures and other matters in a number of countries in Europe (including Russia and the Ukraine), throughout Latin America and the Caribbean, and in Australia, Indonesia, Vietnam, China and Japan. The Trenchant Observer blog provides an unfiltered international perspective for news and opinion on current events, in their historical context, drawing on a daily review of leading German, French, Spanish and English newspapers as well as the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Washington Post, and other American newspapers, and on sources in other countries relevant to issues being analyzed. Dr. Rowles speaks fluent English, French, German, Portuguese and Spanish, and also knows other languages. He holds an S.J.D. or Doctor of Juridical Science in International Law from Harvard University, and a Doctor of Law (J.D.) and a Master of the Science of Law (J.S.M.=LL.M.), from Stanford University. As an undergraduate, he received a Bachelor of Arts degree, also from Stanford, where he graduated “With Great Distinction” (summa cum laude) and received the James Birdsall Weter Prize for the best Senior Honors Thesis in History. In addition to having taught as a Lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School, Dr. Rowles has been a Visiting Scholar at Harvard University's Center for International Affairs (CFIA). His fellowships include a Stanford Postdoctoral Fellowship in Law and Development, the Rómulo Gallegos Fellowship in International Human Rights awarded by the Inter-American Commission on Human Rights, and a Harvard MacArthur Fellowship in International Peace and Security. Beyond his articles in The Trenchant Observer, he is the author of two books and numerous scholarly articles on subjects of international and comparative law. Currently he is working on a manuscript drawing on some the best articles that have appeared in the blog.