Excerpt from a conversation between President Joe Biden and a White House aide, June 10, 2022
White House aide: “I’m sorry to report, Mr. President, we have a problem. We didn’t want to give the Ukrainians the long-range MLRS artillery, because they could have attacked targets in Russia with them.”
President Biden: “Yeah, yeah, I know. They have a range of 300 kilometers or 180 miles. But I thought we fixed that problem, by getting them to agree not to use them against Russia. We also made sure (smiling broadly) by only giving them artillery shells with a range of 80 kilometers.”
White House aide: “Right, Sir. That was the brilliant solution the ‘Tiger Team’ working on ‘heavy weapons delivery and World War III’ came up with.”
President Biden: “Then what’s the problem?”
White House aide: “Zelensky is going ballistic because the weapons can’t be used effectively in the battle for the Dunbas, which Ukraine is losing–because they don’t have the MLRS artillery yet.”
President Biden: “Why don’t they have the artillery?”
White House aide: “Well, Sir, there was a mistake. They sent the artillery for delivery to Ukraine, but with the wrong artillery shells–limited to a 40 km. range instead of an 80 km. range. When the artillery arrived in Poland, our military officials decided to delay the delivery to Ukraine until the 40 km. shells could be replaced with 80 km. shells.”
President Biden: “(expletives deleted). Where are the God-damned artillery pieces now?”
“White House aide: “They’re in Poland, Sir, waiting for the 80 km. shells.”
President Biden: “I thought the ‘Tiger Team’ working on ‘heavy weapons delivery and World War III’ had worked out the details, taking care not to provoke Putin.”
White House aide: “In the military, Sir, mistakes happen.”
President Biden: “Where is that damned Tiger Team? What room are they in? Or are they working in the Arlington office?”
White House aide: “I don’t know, Sir. There are so many Tiger Teams.”
President Biden: “Well, find out, and get them in my office immediately! Have they located the 80 km. shells?
Tell Zelensky we’re working on it.”
Germany sends “bureaucracy special representative” for streamlining bureaucracy to Ukraine
See,
1) Henryk M. Broder, “Schwere Waffen? Wir schicken lieber einen Bürokratie-Sonderbeauftragten, Die Welt, den 10. Juni 2022 (17:29 Uhr);
2) Henryk M. Broder, “Heavy weapons? We’d rather send a bureaucracy special representative,” Die Welt, June 10, 2022 (5:29 p.m.), English translation on website.